So it turns out, you’re all a bunch of snuggle ho’s, and as a result, I’ve written a chapter for Feral as my Thank You for reading my fics and (more or less) patiently waiting for me to get my real-life writing gig sorted out so I have time to update again.
Aaaand since it’s Christmas, I thought it’d be nice with a little Christmas Special. It’s extraordinarily sweet, so grab your insulin and settle in for some wintery snuggles!
Happy December! 
This is my first December in forever where I haven’t been stressed out of my mind with university work and exam prep – and though I’m still super busy, it’s with fun stuff. Like writing. (Actually, it’s mainly writing)
As a result, I’ve decided to take a page out of the lovely Meridian‘s book, as I’ve done a little inventory check of my schedule for the Christmas month, and I think I can squeeze in a chapter update for one of my two unfinished fanfics.
– I just don’t know which one to pick, which is why I need your help.
If you have a preference of which fanfic you’d like to see a chapter of next, let me know in the poll below and I’ll do my very best to get it up before Christmas.
Werewolf romance is my drug of choice
So it’s time for an update on my NaNo project.
Let’s do the positives first – because else it’ll just get depressing.
First off, I love my characters. The heroine is a temperamental feminist with a round figure, and the (main in this book) hero is a real player-type badboy with a tendency towards sarcasm and poor decisions when it comes to women. Sadly for him, he’s also a werewolf, and when werewolves find their Mate, they become mildly obsessive until she accepts them.
Guess who’s not too keen on being followed around by a domineering jock, who suddenly wants to ‘shield her from the world’.
The chemistry and banter between the characters has been so much fun to write, and I honestly can’t wait to build more on this universe. However, now to the less-awesome part:
Yeah, I’m totally not going to finish on time. I’m about halfway through the first draft, and though I have the rest of the novel plotted out fairly well, it’s just not going to happen.
And it’s not going to happen in the very near future, either.
The thing is, my erotic writing has taken off on a minor scale – in fact, I am so so so close to being able to support myself by the royalties from it, but I’m not quite there yet. And I really need to get there, as I don’t have any other income at the moment.
This means that I really can’t take the time out of writing for that to focus on my paranormal romance novels right now. I’ll still be writing on it, of course – love the characters too much to leave them – but it won’t be finished as soon as I’d have liked.
But that’s the thing – I know a lot of writers who can totally push out a novel a month, while writing smaller side projects, and while I have hot, steamy dreams about being such a super-author, I’m just not.
Which brings me to the extra-sad-part:
I have some awesome fanfic readers, and I know a lot of you who follow this blog read them. However, they fall into the same category of ‘don’t have time to write this yet’ as the novel, which means that both Birthday Girl and Feral won’t be updated for OhMyGodSoooooMuchTime. On the plus side, I haven’t abandoned them, but I just don’t have the time right now.
So this was not the November update I’d hoped to be posting (my dream-scenario involved a cover reveal of my NaNo novel along with a release date for mid-December. What can I say, I dream big), but I’m still pretty excited to continue writing that werewolf romance, and on expanding the universe into a trilogy. Patience is king, at least for slow-ass writers like myself!
November is nearly upon us, and with it, NaNoWriMo. And I’ve signed up, for the first time. So. Excited!
If you’re blissfully unaware, NaNoWriMo is a month-long event where you’re challenged to write a 50k novel (minimum) in order to’win’. That’s about 1667 words a day.
So since I often struggle to put out just 500 words a day, and November is already crazy-busy, I thought “Yes! This is a great idea!” I’ve been juggling several plot ideas for “My First Novel”, and since nothing’s yet been published–I’m taking this opportunity to get moving.
My NaNo project will be the first book in a werewolf trilogy, and it’s got everything from a feminist heroine to supernatural shenanigans. Obviously. ‘Cause werewolves.
I’ll be sure to post excerpts along the way, along with moans about how my brain hurts and my fingertips are bleeding.
Gotten an email from them today trying to rally you to their somewhat confusing cause?
Then this will probably amuse you: Author Slaps Amazon’s PR Ridiculousness with Gifs
If you haven’t, then here’re some alpha dolphins to keep you happy for the night instead. Very happy.
Alpha dolphins, you guys.
It doesn’t matter if it’s for some high-brow online newspaper or a tabloid, or even Cracked or Reddit–if you want to live a long and happy life, and not die of a rage-induced coronary, don’t read the comment sections.
So I was happily browsing Kboards, my go-to forum for all things publishing, and came across a link to a Yahoo article featuring some successful romance indie authors. I’m such a sucker for success stories (they’re nice and motivating when I’m considering spending the day watching rubbish TV instead of doing something productive with my life) so I clicked it.
It was a nice article, really. Nothing new and ground breaking, but it’s always pleasant to see people succeed in a field you’re trying to enter. Makes the dream more realistic, somehow. Wish the journalist would stop referring to authors producing a lot of books as ‘churning’, though. It gives it a negative ring, making it sound like it’s second-grade stuff they’re producing, ya know?
What wasn’t so nice was–surprise–the comment section.
Yeah, I know what I said. ‘Never read it’, I said.
I’m also a big hypocrite, and something at the very core of my being is drawn to dramaz. As if a creepy child-voice is sing-songing at me to ‘come play with us, Sarah, forever!’, and I’m the stupid heroine victim who actually follows it, instead of getting the hell out of the haunted house like any rational being would.
I’d expected general ignorance about self-publishing to flourish, supported by a few ‘well my book didn’t sell squad, so this article is a big scam!’ comments made by bitter people with a grasp of basic grammar so vague that all you can do is smile and nod at their highly empirical evidence basis.
To some degree, it didn’t disappoint. They were there, the ‘self-publishing is for losers who can’t get a real publishing contract’ people, along with the disillusioned ‘my family thinks my books are the best thing since sliced bread, but I can’t sell them–self-publishing is a sham’ authors.
However, I hadn’t anticipated the subject the vast majority of angry internet users would be harping on about, and it actually shocked me.
Now, let me preface this by saying that I’ve been around the ol’ internet a time or two, and I’m not unaccustomed with the rampant arseholery found in many a corner, but the people in this comment section? Wow, they blew me away!
Lemme quote a few gems for ya!
“Just shows how gullible and irrational the readers are. Why don’t they put more effort into creating REAL romance in their lives, by making themselves attractive to a mate of good character (rather than drug users and shiftless bums who make babies and don’t stay around), then working to create a real home and family, like their grandmothers did? Neither of my two grandmothers wallowed in “fantasy romance” or even watched TV very much, because they LOVED their home life and family.”
The misogyny’s strong with this one. Obviously, unless a woman dedicates her entire life to home-making and ‘making herself attractive’ she’s failed as a human being. Can’t have them womenfolk reading romance novels and getting too high expectations of the men she shares her life with! Just ask this next douche bag:
“They write nonsense so women have unattainable beliefs, desires and demands for man, thus really creating much unhappiness in women.”
Yes. Clearly the ‘unhappiness in women’ in your life is caused by romance writers painting unobtainable pictures of what a man should be like. It’s got nothing to do with you being a lazy bum who expects her to pick up your dirty socks and thinks the goal of sex is your orgasm–not hers.
“I have nothing at all against these authors earning good money, but it is a bit disturbing to see that this genre seems to have the biggest sellers. No accounting for taste, I guess”
Uhm? ‘Scuse me? Why is it assumed that romance = poor taste/a bad genre?
Aren’t relationship and love the most important part of the human experience? A lot of these stories are absolutely beautiful, not to mention expertly crafted, with rich and complex characters. Who the fuck are you to decide what constitutes good literature??
If a story is gripping and manages to get a reader emotionally involved, it’s ticked the boxes it needs to. It might not be to your personal taste, but fuck right off with that ‘oh, it’s just about EMOTIONS and touchy-feely girly stuff. It’s not REAL literature!’ attitude.
Seriously. Fuck right off.
“The dogs always write the best romance. They don’t get none in real life!”
“why do the ugliest women write romance novels?”
“seems like it is always ugly women that write this trash, im sure it is ugly ones that read it also, good looking woman are to busy out with real life men, or women if that is what they choose also”
“Books for #$%$ older women who regret not getting busy more when they were young.”
“Judging by their looks, these gals have not had a day of romance in their lives.”
“when you are ugg write a book . get money buy a date .”
“Ever notice how many of these Romance writers look as if they have had no real romance in their life (or any real relationship with anything other than perhaps a few cats), and that perhaps their stories are merely an extension of their unfulfilled desire.”
It was after reading the ridiculous number of nasty comments about the authors’ looks that I realised what this is actually about.
Romance novels are, mainly, for women, and very often they are written by women, and so naturally, men of the jerkfaced nature feel the need to ridicule and belittle the genre and the people who enjoy it, because…. well, let’s not beat around the bush. It’s because they’re sexist asswipes. And for some reason, attacking a woman’s look and ‘fuckability’ seems to be the default for these types. It’s made all the more obvious by the fact that both Bella Andre and Courtney Milan, depicted in this article, are absolutely stunning women.
So to all you basement dwelling dudebros of the internet, who can’t seem to get over the fact that women have interests that don’t involve you, and that a lot of them are earning waaay more money than you will ever manage to:
Sucks to be you.
“what a waste of money to read romance novels. Look at the divorce rate out there people.”
Lulw00t?
Let’s be clear here; I’m mainly writing this to compile evidence that I’m not a menace to society, because I feel like that might come in handy one of these days. Meaning that I’m pretty sure the NSA and whatever the EU equivalent (do we have an NSA equivalent?) have a thick file on me at this point.
So during the past year of writing fanfics and outlining my paranormal romance books I’ve researched a lot of weird shit, including components for voodoo rituals, the colour of an Egyptian corpse, the effectiveness of chloroform when kidnapping people and how exactly to do a lobotomy.
I know, I know, but it’s all fairly innocent, I swear! In order, it was for: evil witches doing an evil ritual; trying to figure out the origin of a main character for a vampy novella series; looking for a plausible way for my fanfic’s kick-ass witchy main character to be rendered unconscious for a few hours without suffering permanent damage (turns out, chloroform is not the way) and Googling if the male lead of an Urban Fantasy novel I have on the back burner could make a comment about Swedish lobotomy practices, but getting distracted by Wikipedia’s ‘related articles’. SEE! Perfectly reasonable explanations!
Anyway, as I’ve mentioned before, I’ve started writing erotica, and it’s great fun. And of course, it’s also under the paranormal umbrella, because real life…ugh.
You know what’s really popular in paranormal erotica? Shifter sex. Especially werewolf sex. Which is where my otherwise completely inconspicuous adventures on Google just started getting kind of awkward.
Now, I know I’ve moaned about ridiculous writing within this particular sub-genre before, and while I’m not so much of a city girl that I think wolves have hairy dongs, I’m still not exactly an expert on, er, relevant anatomy. I considered asking my sister, the vet, but couldn’t really face having that discussion, so what did I do? I Googled.
Jesus. Christ, people.
I’m not gonna go into the surprisingly educational resource that turned out to be YouTube (It’s more than just music videos and make-up tutorials, y’all! I had no idea.), but I can now say that I have seen some corners of the internet that…No, I’m not even going to go there, either. I’m just gonna leave it with ‘If I decide to write centaur erotica I’m sticking with my imagination, because there just isn’t enough brain-bleach around, y’all. There just isn’t.” Also, stop being gross, internet. Seriously.
And on that note, I think this may be the lead-up for a post on imaginary fiction vs. being a real-life creepster at some point, because yes, there is still room on the high horse when you write werewolf ménages, and I ain’t getting off. (The high horse, red.)
I typed out half of an epic rant about the inconsiderate arseholery that is interrupting my reading/writing with ‘exciting’ football news, because the World Cup seems to lower most people’s perception levels of the ‘if you don’t STFU I’m going to chew your face off’ look, but then I got bored because I was writing about football, so deleted it again.
So, since I made the mistake of going out last night, when England was playing, I thought I’d share some survival tips with other sane people football-fugitives, in the hopes that we can all support each other through this challenging time.
Here’re my top pick; please feel free to add your own:
That’s all I got, folks. It’s a tough time for us all, but we well get through it, as we always do.
Here’s a lovely concept to help you out. Anyone else feeling the stir of a crossover fanfic in the making..?
Word.
*squint* It’s freaking MAY already?!
I’ve had a few comments on my fanfic profile that seemed to suggest that my absence could/should be related to my untimely death
To that I can only say: Oops? Thought it was March? But I updated… 3 months ago? University drains my soul? I’m sorry, okay!
As it turns out, I’ve somehow fooled (some, not all) people into believing that I don’t categorically suck at sticking to any sort of schedule or just relatively acceptable time frame for… well, I was going to say ‘writing’, but let’s be honest here–‘anything’ is more accurate. Sorry guys. The sad fact is that I do, indeed, suck. You should try making an actual face-to-face meet-up with me; I’m told it’s unbelievably frustrating, quite possibly because 2 minutes after I’ve said ‘yeah maybe’ I’m already trying to think of ways to get out of it.
Reminds me of a personality test we did in first year of my undergrad, which was supposed to reveal what sort of position we’d fit for in future employment. Mine (slightly paraphrased) suggested that I was easily distracted, lazy and disorganised, but extremely creative.
I have high hopes for my future career in the corporate world.
Anyway, where was I? Oh right, yes–Sorry if I accidentally gave the impression of someone who doesn’t disappear off the face of the Earth for a few months with no prior warning. It sorta happens once in while, but I promise I’ll not poof away completely; writing is my main outlet and it’s not something I’m ever likely to stop doing.
So here’s the soul-searching I’ve been doing while AFF/B (away from fanfic/blog):
1) I don’t care if vampire fiction is not selling! I love writing it, and while my originally planned first novel will still happen in the not-too-distant future (ya know, my version of ‘not-too-distant’) my first releases will probably be a vampire novella serial. Because fangs.
2) I need to stop pretending like I’ll be one of those awesome people who stick to plans.
3) I freaking love writing pure smut. And this one I’ve actually dealt with. I kept getting frustrated that my paranormal romance either got too erotic, or didn’t support the level of detail my smut-loving self requires in titillating literature, so I made an erotica pen name that deals with the *clutches pearls* stuff. That means that I can focus more on the story and character development in my ‘regular’ stories, which is great. They’ll still be sexy, of course, but a whole lot less “Tap A slides into slot B”. Everyone wins.
4) I’ll probably never read most of the great literary classics. No point in feeling bad about it if it isn’t going to change anyway.
5) There’s no point in getting annoyed that every single person I have ever met and will ever meet thinks that Danish = Dutch. Dutch people are, as a rule of thumb, awesome, and it’s not like I had any clue as to where the heck Azerbaijan was before Eurovision 2012. I shall dismount this particular high horse.
… but I’ve had a 60 hour headache, which tends to kill creativity, so instead you’ll get this little life-lesson:
Attempting to write smutty scenes while ‘Arachnophobia’ is on in the background is just not a good idea.
In fact, this may end up being aversion therapy, and how sad would it be if all I’d be able to write in the future were good, clean plot-driven stories?
Who wants to read about a sexy vampire playing scrabble? No one, is who. (Though, actually… that could be pretty hilarious)
Anyway! No more creepy-crawler movies for this girl during writing hours!
I mean, there’s monster porn, and then there’s monster porn. *shudder*
Sarah Wilder Writes 